We seldom see articles focused on supporting grieving children with developmental and/or intellectual disabilities. Carol A. Ranney, a single adoptive parent of seven children, writes for Examiner.com’s Philadelphia site. Two of her sons have died, one at age 13 in 1996 and one at age 31 in 2007. Ranney shares the experience of helping her son, who has cerebral palsy and is nonverbal, grieve the loss of his siblings.
When there is a death in the family or in the peer group of a special needs child or adult, that person is very often forgotten in the planning of the service, the mourning rituals, funeral home visitation, and the other common aspects of grieving and mourning the death of someone loved. Just as children are sometimes left out of these important experiences because “they’re too young,” they won’t/don’t understand,” or “it would be too upsetting,” special needs children and adults are also frequently forgotten mourners.
Contrary to what the general public may think, people of all ages who have exceptional needs still have their emotions intact, are generally aware of the people around them, and are also aware of the absence of these important people. Even though the child or adult may not be verbal, be assured that they have their thoughts, their memories, their questions, and their sorrow. If they are able to love, they are able to grieve, and if they are able to grieve, they need to mourn and to heal.
Children with cerebral palsy, like the one mentioned in the article above, have a range of developmental disabilities and also may have intellectual disabilities. When professionals consider how to support diverse populations through illness, death and grief, those with developmental and/or intellectual disabilities should be included.
