Feeling taken for granted as a caregiver is incredibly common. Surveys indicate that more than half of all caregivers do. And yes, these understandable feelings are a stressor. What also adds stress: Feeling sheepish when you want to complain about this.
"I know it sounds petty to gripe about not being appreciated," apologized a friend who moved her newly widowed mother halfway across the country to an assisted living near her home. "But every little thank-you is like gas in the tank that keeps me going."
Spencer gives some strategies to deal with these feelings given various caregiving situations. Struggling with the role of caregiver can be difficult even for professionals. In this New Old Age blog post from 2009, Paula Span talks to a social worker who had difficulty transitioning to a caregiver role.
Susan Katz thought she knew all about caring for old people. Trained as a social worker, she had spent more than 15 years working for home care agencies and for assisted and independent living facilities. So when her own parents began to falter in their mid-80s – her mother had Parkinson’s disease, and her father was debilitated by the aftereffects of prostate cancer treatment – she felt prepared to step in and help.
The reality has proved very different. Ms. Katz and her family are in some ways fortunate: her parents managed to sell their Long Island home, though not before the housing market had nose-dived. They moved into a continuing care retirement community near her home in Middletown, N.J., and hired an excellent home care aide to assist them four hours a day.
